Chemo Treatment Number 5

The four worse words in the English language are "despite our best efforts." You hear these words all the time on TV, and I have been preparing for these words since Kitty's diagnoses..........you can't prepare! No matter how you try, you can't prepare! It wasn't all bad news, but the doctor did use those words today. It is mainly because Kitty isn't eating like we would all like. She did gain back .2 pounds but I have to keep her on the appetite stimulator and it's still a struggle to get her to eat. The doctor said that it could be and here come those words, that despite our best efforts the Cancer is smarter than we are. I had a complete breakdown because despite my efforts I wasn't ready to hear this. They checked her blood and.....here comes the good news! Here blood counts almost doubled. The Cancer may be smart, but my baby is tough and she is giving it everything she has! They went ahead and started the protocol they have been striving for. They gave her the big guns today! They had to give her an anti-nauseous drug because it make her pretty sick, which sucks when she is already struggling with eating, but hopefully this work! I have to give her yet another pill, twice a day, but...........she's alive and she is not in pain. It's all I can ask for!

Chemo Treatment Number 4

Well, we had another set back today. Kitty lost another .8 lb. I stopped giving her the appetite stimulator because I thought she was eating okay but I guess not good enough. Her blood count is still a little low and they found another small mass which means she is not in total remission, which they were hoping to reach by now. They tried a new drug today that is administered into the muscle called Elspar. Hopefully that will kick this stupid caner into remission. I was really feeling defeated when they took her back to do the ultrasound and confirm they had felt another mass. I saw a poem they have on the wall and it says:

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love.

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot eat away peace.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot invade the soul.

It cannot reduce eternal life.

It cannot quench the Spirit.

This rang really true for me. No matter what happens, My love for Kitty will live on. I will continue hoping until she is gone, I will have faith in her healers that they are doing their best work, I will carry the peace of knowing I am giving her the chance to live, I will remain confident that I am doing the right thing, Kitty will still be my companion and I will still have the friends who have supported me through this, I will ALWAYS have my memories of my baby, Kitty will fight with courage, Kitty will still have her beautiful soul, When she leaves, her life will become spiritual and eternal, her Spirit will always be with me.


Send positive thoughts and prayers if you pray to my baby please! She needs all the help she can get right now!